having a son

being a mom has opened my eyes to many wonderful things. i see the world differently. as much as we focused on getting pregnant and for the arrival of logan, i could never fully understand how he would change our lives once he was here.

he has given us so much already in the past 20 months. i try every day to soak in his amazing energy. his love. his wonderment.

now that he is on his way to turning two, i'm starting to realize what it means to have a son.

it's in the every day moments.

when i step on a random hot wheel, making it's way across the house.

when i watch logan fall onto his chair without fear. he rolls and tumbles. . . . i gasp. . . . he gets up, rubs his head. and then does it again. . . . and again. . . (you get the point).

it's hearing from the back seat of the car as i drive around town, dinosaur roars and car engines. lately, even a helicopter or plane.

boys are wonderful in their own way.

i never could imagine my life with a son. . .

and now. . .

i wouldn't have it any other way.

thank you loges. for all of your wonderful "boy" moments.

20 months

logan is 20 months old today.

just 4 months shy of turning 2!

here are some recent photos of my baby.

sitting at his table eating

loges and mom goofing around

"and i'm off!"

"i like ducks"

"woo. . . swinging"

"this is fun!"

eating tostadas. . . mmm. . .

reading my valentine's day cards

"look over there!"

taking in the world

"i'm a happy boy"

we love you loges.

a remarkable woman

so this week has been draining. this week started with a discovery. someone i've known for a few years now, losing her battle with cancer.

this woman.

such a remarkable woman.

so honest. a no-nonsense type. one i respected and admired.

i saw her as an amazing mother. before i knew what it was to be one myself.

balancing three children, one with autism. taking care of business. getting things done while still being an advocate for her daughter.

so respected and admired. full of fun. full of life.

slipping away from life this week.

it's not right.

it's not fair.

things like this make you slow down.

make you stop.

in your tracks.

it makes you question everything really. right down to your core.

if i had only a few days left. . . what would i do?

where would i go?

who would i spend time with?

these thoughts have clouded my mind this week. at the same time, making everything clear.

everything we see as so important. . . isn't really. i'd spend my day on the beach. staring at the ocean. with my husband and son. the ocean has a way of calming me. . . i'd spend my last day there.

my heart is filled with sadness. . . these remarkable women. . . losing their lives too soon.